Ahhhhhh

"How are the girls over there", Toronto Chris's Uncle is asking him over the phone. TC stumbles a response. "Well you keep a eye out at for a good looking for one, now", his Uncle closes off. "I will", TC replies.

Hanging up the phone, TC is shaking his head. "Why does he always ask me about girls?", TC looks to me for an answer. Sadly I don't have one. At 20 paces you can spot that TC is gay, he enjoyed playing with girls when little, had a barbie doll, wore glitter in his hair as a teenager, is a hair stylist and boyfriends have slept over at his house. He's never hidden who he is to his family which includes his Uncle. TC likes guys, that simple. Right now he likes me, oh goodie.

 

But his Uncle and many of his family aren't prepared to accept his sexuality. The resultant conversations are often a silent awkwardness on topics related to love interests or in the case of his Uncle, a sheer disregard for who Toronto Chris is. So here at 23 years old, Toronto Chris either has to re-assert on a daily basis his sexuality or suffer in silence. In either case, it's on his mind.

I sense this is my next big looming issue. Who do you tell and when? I suspect I'm leaning toward just being me and f'u if you can't deal with it. I've watched too many older guys, who don't have woman interests, act like no one knows what the real deal is. Better to just get on with it. Similarly, I've met queer as folk 20 year olds, queenie as they can be who profess that "no one possibly think they're gay". Get over it, they know.

In fact, as much as we like to hide ourselves, people see thru us and the more suspicious we act, the better fodder for muffled gossip we make ourselves.

On a personal aside, I'm slowly weaning TC off his 3x a day habit, I can feel my toes again.

Comments

[Single Guy]

Enjoy the 3x a day mate! After a year it will be 3 times a week! LOL

[Troll at Sea]

ChrisTwice:

I'm all for feeling in the toes, as everywhere else, for that matter.

But SG is right: if the rest of the human race is anything to go by, you will one day long for toe-numbness.

Myself, I think your day dose lasts me a week.

T@C

[Mark]

I'm surprised your toes are the only thing that's feeling numb.......unless of course you end up on the bottom every time....

[Don]

Good post. I don’ t tend to worry about who “looks” gay and who can “pass” for straight. I find that men that obsess about such hetero/homo appearances are not comfortable with themselves. Spike Lee made a very interesting movie about a similar subject, light skin blacks vs. dark skin blacks. The name of the movie is School Daze. Have you seen it? The point, obviously, being that black is black, and trying to identify oneself as either light or dark is simply caving to the prejudices of society. Similarly, gay older men that try to “pass” for straight are really no more than closeted cases afraid to admit or “fess up” to their true sexual natures. Of course, that was the point of your post. Really good post. Keep blogging; kind of like your stuff.